Monday, April 12, 2010

Pain....

Lately.....even with the exercise and all.....I am still not feeling well, although at times after the exercise I do feel a little cheerful and less depressed or stressed.....and I think it's because of my thyroid problem. I think it's getting worse. Yup...I think that because as of now, I can feel pain in that area. For years, there was no pain at all.....never had trouble sleeping or doing any activity.

I am feeling a little worried about it but at the moment I can't do anything ....I feel trapped....helpless.....I can't go to the hospital and I can't take anymore of alternative medicine......so sick and tired of that already. God knows what I've taken all these years in the hope of curing it with alternative medicine. So what do I do now? The answer is.......nothing...
I can't afford to see a specialist......am too afraid of seeing one too. Afraid of going there all by myself. Sigh.....I am trying my level best to control what I eat.....or drink....and making sure I don't overwork....although sometimes when there is a lot of orders for my cards, I tend to overwork myself.....tire myself at times. I work real slow.....at snail pace.....what others can do in one day...I probably take 2 or three days.....that's the problem. So the work keeps accumulating......but so far, I've managed to finish all the orders within the specified time. Thank God. I just have to keep reminding myself not to forget to be kind to myself.....I tend to forget that sometimes....
Sometimes I think.....what's the point of worrying about all this stuff anyways......everyone gets sick....everyone dies eventually right? No one lives forever..... So no worries......let God settle it for me. He knows best why this is happening.....he can put it to a stop and make me happy again anytime he likes. So it's up to him.....I just try my best to survive it the best way I can.
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