Friday, September 25, 2009

Is it love or infatuation?

I got this article from the newspaper long time ago, can't remember which newspaper it was though......perhaps it was The Star since I used buy those a lot once upon a time hehehehe...........I would like to share this article with everyone, what Dr. James Dobson wrote about the difference between love and infatuation. :)

I've always used this as a guidance whenever I was in doubt. Sometimes I get confused of what it is that I'm feeling.....was it really love? Or just an infatuation? It can get pretty complicated........but once you know it, you can never go wrong.... We have to know it, believe in it and practice it......not just saying it.... :)

"Is it love or just infatuation? Or, as the joke goes, is it love or just something that I ate? There is a way to tell the difference. Infatuation is based solely on emotions, on how you're feeling, whereas love is an act of the will. Today we'll look at two of the four distinct areas in which love differs from infatuation.

First, love is patient. Love can wait, wholly accepting the character of the other person in the relationship. But infatuation is in a big hurry. Because, infatuation is based only on emotion, there an impatience about it....those wild emotions may not last long. They say love is blind, but it's not true. Infatuation is blind.....you see only the idealized version of the other person, not the real thing, warts and all. When you're in love you have your eyes wide open, wanting to learn all you can about the other person.

Second, love is kind. When you're in love, you give and give and give. One goal of marriage should be to see which person can out-give the other. But when you're infatuated, you let things slip. You remember the major holidays but forget her birthday. You start to grow tired of giving and you demand your own way.

The third difference between love and infatuation is that love is not jealous. When your relationship is based entirely on emotion, you tend to be easily threatened and influenced by many outside variables. Both parties often become possessive and insecure. Because genuine love emphasizes the welfare of the other person, however, it's less jealous and possessive and easily threatened.

The fourth difference is that love does not act rudely and ill mannered. Infatuation soon forgets good manners but love continues to show respect.

How can a woman tell when a man genuinely loves her? When he shows her respect and she feels more like a woman after they've been together. He protects her dignity and she does the same for him.

So love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous and does not act rudely. If your relationship has those four characteristics going for it, you have a solid foundation toward a lasting marriage."

- by Dr. James Dobson
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1 comment:

iYda Juhar said...

all about love. hehhe