Pain....

Lately.....even with the exercise and all.....I am still not feeling well, although at times after the exercise I do feel a little cheerful and less depressed or stressed.....and I think it's because of my thyroid problem. I think it's getting worse. Yup...I think that because as of now, I can feel pain in that area. For years, there was no pain at all.....never had trouble sleeping or doing any activity.

I am feeling a little worried about it but at the moment I can't do anything ....I feel trapped....helpless.....I can't go to the hospital and I can't take anymore of alternative medicine......so sick and tired of that already. God knows what I've taken all these years in the hope of curing it with alternative medicine. So what do I do now? The answer is.......nothing...

I can't afford to see a specialist......am too afraid of seeing one too. Afraid of going there all by myself. Sigh.....I am trying my level best to control what I eat.....or drink....and making sure I don't overwork....although sometimes when there is a lot of orders for my cards, I tend to overwork myself.....tire myself at times. I work real slow.....at snail pace.....what others can do in one day...I probably take 2 or three days.....that's the problem. So the work keeps accumulating......but so far, I've managed to finish all the orders within the specified time. Thank God. I just have to keep reminding myself not to forget to be kind to myself.....I tend to forget that sometimes....

Sometimes I think.....what's the point of worrying about all this stuff anyways......everyone gets sick....everyone dies eventually right? No one lives forever..... So no worries......let God settle it for me. He knows best why this is happening.....he can put it to a stop and make me happy again anytime he likes. So it's up to him.....I just try my best to survive it the best way I can.

The heat is on 24/7

I don't know about other places in Malaysia but I do know that in Alor Setar, Kedah right now, the weather is getting more and more hot and quite unbearable at times. Most of the time I will be in my studio making cards and I'm grateful that there is an air conditioner fixed in my studio here otherwise I just can't work. I've tried not switching it on during the day and it's terribly hot! I'll be sweating like crazy and I just find it so difficult to concentrate on my work because of the heat! Even the table, the chairs.....everything I touch in the room feels warm! Imagine that!

The only thing that I find good about the hot weather is the fact that it dries the laundry real fast! hehehehe! Really.....it really does help a lot in that area. :) However, we do get the rain in the afternoons and evenings sometimes.....yes sometimes, not everyday. But it does not really help cool the house that much.....just a little. The rain usually helps in watering the plants....pity the plants having to face the hot sun everyday like that. We had to make sure that the small plants and the big trees we have here get enough water. One of our Rambutan tree has flowered but the other one has not. Usually they flower at the same time but I guess because of the terrible heat, the tree doesn't seem to be it's usual self this year. I guess we won't be getting any Rambutan in May or June like always.....perhaps we will only get to eat the Rambutans after the Eidul Fitri.

During hot weather like this, we tend to take a lot of cold drinks and sweet cold desserts......like ice cream, ais kacang/ air batu campur, lin chi kang ais, cendol.....all sorts of sweet cold treats that comes to mind during this time. I drink a lot of water......ice water especially.....but always reminding myself not to overdose  it hehehehe.....all those sweet cold desserts / drinks will put on more pounds in you know where! hahahaha! So, I have to be careful! Otherwise what a waste it will be to do all that exercise all this time and end up gaining those extra pounds for the sake of staying cool hahahahaha!

I can't go out during the day that much with the weather like this either. Everything has to be planned out so that I can avoid the hot sun. I only go out in case of an emergency. And if I organize everything much earlier, then all is good....no problem whatsoever :). I guess the heat is not going to be reduced in time....it would probably get worse in future. I can't imagine it getting any worse than this. I know it will  get hotter and hotter someday and I wish there is something we can do to stop that. But I don't think so......it's easier said than done. It has to be a collective effort. We just learn to adapt and survive it the best we can before we die........

Beautiful morning.....

What a beautiful morning! I was out at the park this morning for my daily workout as usual.......did 3 rounds today of brisk walking around the park, it was great! Then I cycled for another 4 rounds at the cycling track where I usually go to for my rides. I noticed that after doing the brisk walking, I find it easier for me to speed on my bike. It sort of gives me more energy to speed.....weird....because before this, I usually just do some light stretching at home before cycling for 5 rounds at the cycling track....and I find it not as easy to speed if I just cycled and not brisk walk. I guess what the brisk walking does is warming up my body, making it a lot easier for me to do other exercises without feeling so stressed doing so. It's funny how it works out that way. I'm glad I decided to do it because now I find cycling a lot more fun and can speed more and ride more rounds too just by warming up the body to a certain level. :) 

The weather this morning is just beautiful! The hot sun was hidden by those big clouds......so it was a breeze for me when I did my rides. I was able to do more since it was not hot at all. If only it was like that every morning. Wouldn't that be wonderful! hihihihi.......I know I need to go out a lot earlier.....thus avoiding that big ray of light hitting my fragile eyes hihihihi :)

I also did my ab workout at home after that. I'm so glad that we didn't give away that AB Shaper machine that my Mom bought for us years ago. That machine is quite good for working on the abs. I know this because I used to use it long time ago when I was going through a detox plan way back then. I was using it regularly and it does work wonderfully for the abs. I was doing so well until I left Alor Setar to work in KL.....that's when my body started to gain back all the fat again. Darn it! LOL!

Whatever it is.....I hope I can have a lot more variety of exercising routines as I go along. I'm interested in participating  with the dancing group at the park.....that looks a like a lot of fun! I'm also thinking of playing badminton, and I already found someone to play with me hihihihi.....gosh, it's been quite a long time since I last played badminton......I have my skipping rope but till now have not used it. :P Will add in all those as I go along......the more the variety, the more interesting, so the less chances of me losing the interest of exercising. I just don't want it to be boring, doing the same thing, day in day out.....there has got to be something that will spark the interest more. A little spark here and there is good.....no harm right? As long as I don't quit.......must never quit! :)

Determined....

What can I say.....today is a mix of a lot of good things coming my way.....since morning....till right about now. :) Oh.... I had a really great workout this morning.....I've missed it for 2 days of doing my brisk walking and cycling....but I haven't missed doing my ab workout at home. I try not to miss that. Love doing that lately because I do see a difference when I do it....that's the best part :). It just feels good being able to do it regularly. I'm really enjoying the brisk walking in the park......it is an amazing feeling. I feel good that since I am staying so near to the park, I don't have to drive there......I just cycle....thus I'm helping the environment in a way. And I think everyone who lives nearby should do the same. I've seen family who all cycle together there.....there are lots of space there to park anyways.....I don't really like the idea of driving there....not environment friendly hihihihi......it's not just about protecting the ozone layer....but it's also good for us, because we would do extra workouts by cycling there.

This week has been such a crazy one! Gosh.....work work and working like there is no tomorrow. I'm feeling the heat now. I never thought that it would get this big and so much of response from the public regarding my card designs. I sometimes find it hard to cope with the pressure. But I remind myself every time to take it easy.....do it one at a time....stay calm....just relax and carry on doing it the best that I can. When it gets out of control....that's when I have to miss the morning workouts.....because time is so limited....it flies so fast....and I only have two hands to work with.....no assistant whatsoever. And furthermore.....I work really slow....so meticulous in fact. So careful.....trying to make it perfect every time, because the truth is I really want my customer to be happy with my work. That is my main thing.....for them to feel happy and make their money worth every penny for the cards they ordered from me. I don't ever want them to feel disappointed.....that would really make me so sad. :(

I'm determined though to make it all work......exercise and work must be balanced out. I don't want to miss it at all if possible. :) Well.....we'll see how it goes!

My eternally messy table.....

Just look at the mess I made at my table......it's a never ending vicious cycle!!!! No matter how many times I clean up my table, it always ends up messy again. This was a result of making two handmade cards.....yup, only two! And yet the mess is like as if I made 20 cards.. :I. Every time I'm rushing or in a hurry to get it done at a short period of time or doing something at the very last minute like I always do hihihihi.....this is what will happen especially if it involves sequins. In this case I accidentally spill the sequins on my table......urrrrggghhh....I hate it when that happens. Especially if the sequins are so tiny....so when this happens I would just scoop them all up in one big plastic casing....and let it all mix up with the paper scraps and whatever else that is messing my table.....because I'm just too lazy to separate them one by one... LOL!

To eat or not to eat....that is the question..

Lately I've tried not to eat before my workout.....and I find that I experienced some difficulty in working out if I don't eat anything.  I feel that just taking plain water or Anlene chocolate is simply not enough for me to do any brisk walking or cycling. Of course I can do still do it and complete the rounds but I will be finding it so hard doing so and will be extremely exhausted after that. So I decided I have to eat just a little bit before each workout. Just a little....just enough for me to get me going. 

What I did was I just took Anlene chocolate with just 1 or 2 whole wheat crackers. That is just about enough for me. I myself can't eat that much so early in the morning anyways. So it was just nice for me! I experiment on quite a few types of food to eat before workout and so far I think this is the fastest and easiest and what I'm most comfortable with. I've also tried taking those 3 in 1 Nesvita or Oats.....those are quite good as well. Whatever it is at least now I know what works for me. Some people can do the workouts without food if they don't have any serious health problems. But for people like me, I don't think I can....because I've tested myself several times and it is a problem for me. I do worry if I suddenly blackout you know in the middle of a workout....it's possible. So I just do what works for me.

I'm really enjoying the workouts so far.......the cycling especially. It just thrills me like no other. :)

Brisk walking at the park....

I had a great time walking at the park yesterday......the air was so fresh in the morning. The trees were mostly in bloom....I could smell the flowers as I walked around the park. I love brisk walking.....compared to running....it's less impact on my knees...less injury. I wasn't able to brisk walk there today because I had to cycle to the post office again this morning to do some deliveries of my handmade cards. This week is probably one of the busiest weeks ever.....I'm so damn exhausted....but I'm glad I'm still ok and I think it's because of the workouts I'm been doing so far. It helps to loosen out all my tired and aching body. :)

I can't help but feel so grateful being here in Alor Setar right now. I never thought that I would feel so happy here. As I walked I thought of how much this park meant to me and my family. A lot of great memories here. It was our playground. We used to love hanging out here. We had picnics there....we even played puzzles there before. It was a fun and relaxing place to be where we can chill. There was a roller skating area there long long time ago before they built Wisma Darul Aman there. I was so angry about that. It just ruined the park. I hope they won't build anymore buildings there and spoil the park.

Lately it's been raining here every afternoons and evenings. So the park is cool and nice in the morning.  That  is just bliss for me. I'm sure it is for so many people there as well who spent most of their morning there working out and releasing their everyday stresses. I even met my ex Art and English teacher there yesterday. They are still fit at their age......and I saw my ex Art teacher with her friends dancing together in a group to an Indian song...hihihihihi....it was so interesting that I had to stop walking for a while and enjoy the moment. The dancing steps seems quite complicated to follow hihihihi.....their group leader was a Chinese guy and the group itself comprises of mainly Chinese people and yet they were dancing to an Indian song....that was a really interesting thing to watch. It is not always I get to see this scenario. And I know for a fact that this group would go and eat tosei every now and then after their morning workout. I guess Indian food is really something that we all have come to love and acknowledge. I love it for as long as I can remember.....hihihi...and how can I not since I'm half Indian myself! LOL!

I think I'm going to continue whenever I can to walk there in the morning. I'm even thinking of joining those aerobic groups hihihihi.......It's just too good to miss. I felt bad because I had to miss it this morning, but I still managed to cycle a few rounds there after my ride to the post office. I can't explain how great a feeling it is after every workout. I guess it's true what they say......exercising does make you happy! :)

Alice in Wonderland

I had the chance to go catch a movie last Monday with my aunt at Alor Setar Mall. This is the first time for me to go to that mall.....it was really nice! The mall itself looked so run down from the outside, but once you step in, it's totally different! Don't be fooled by the image you see outside! hihihihi!

Well.....actually "Alice in Wonderland" is one of the most anticipated movies of this year. I have been waiting to see this since I saw the trailer last year. Of course another reason for watching is because Johnny Depp is starring in it as the Mad Hatter! I must say the costume design and the makeup is brilliant.....for all characters in this movie. I didn't really like his acting that much in this movie though, but I do like Helena Bonham Carter who played the Red Queen.....she was brilliant!

The only thing that frustrated me was the screenplay and the way the story was told. I found it quite boring....huhuhuhu. I've seen other versions of Alice in Wonderland before and I loved them. Somehow in this one I didn't even though the special effects were so cool.

I noticed that Alice's costumes were mostly made using cloth that came in shades of blue! I love that! I love most of her costumes in this movie.....love her hair too.....it's kinda like mine except she's blonde hihihihihihi! :) I also love that cat! Cheshire cat! He is so charming!

My rating for this movie : 3 / 5

The cycling track

The photos above shows the places where I ride my bicycle almost everyday nearby my Mom's house early in the morning. Isn't it a beautiful place? I love it here. The road you see is just a small lane that I use as my cycling track. I would do at least 5 rounds on this track every time and then take a ride back home.

I especially love the big trees. I'm sure they are more than 50 years old. My Mom and Dad bought their house here more than 30 years ago....so obviously those trees were here before that. Just look at the size of those trees. They are huge. But I love cycling by them in the morning, breathing in the fresh air, I can smell the grass, flowers and leaves from the trees. I could also spot quite a handful of different species of birds. Some I've never seen before. It's so peaceful here. Of course I'm not the only one cycling there. There are quite a handful of people doing so. It's always nice to have company :).

Yellow snow? :)

I never thought that I would be able to see this again......till yesterday when I came back from town with my aunt and I saw those tiny yellow flowers falling from the trees at the park nearby my house. I remember when I was a teenager, I would ride my bicycle and pass by this park on the way to school. Once a year, usually between February and March.....there will be a time when the big trees at the park, flower. I absolutely adore it because, when there is strong wind, millions of those yellow flowers would fall slowly on the ground, looking like yellow snow....hehehehe.....it's so beautiful! There are so many of these trees at the park and when they all flower at the same time, it's gorgeous!!!

Too bad I didn't have my camera with me when I saw those flowers fall to the ground yesterday morning. And today when I did bring it with me when I went cycling, there was no wind.....and so, I couldn't take photos of it to share it here. I was only able to take photos of those flowers that are still on the trees and the ones that had fallen earlier.

They only flower once a year......so I guess if I'm still around next year, I hope to experience this miracle from God again...... :) It's too beautiful to miss!!