Numb

Feeling much better today. After my morning walk at the park, I feel a lot calmer. Exercise do make me feel good. Feel more relaxed.

Don't really feel like working today.  Honestly I can't really think right now. Feel numb. Just kept staring at my working table.

Trying to find some inspiration in the net.....listening to songs.....just do something to distract me from feeling sad or depressed.

Now I get it why some people don't like it if I ask them about their health condition......because I find myself not liking it either when people ask me about mine now. I pretend I'm not sick....even though I am. I just like to imagine I'm not and carry on doing what I want to do. Putting it behind me like it never happened. I don't like thinking about it. Because the more I think about it, the more sick I feel inside. I try to lead a healthy lifestyle and leave everything else to God......Let Him decide for me because I'm just clueless right now. He gave me this problem and let Him solve it for me. All I do now is do my best in taking care of myself. Like the saying....."Do your best and let God handle the rest...."

All I need right now is to be strong.....strong in the mind especially. Can't let my mind take control of how I feel. I don't like to feel sad all the time. It sucks! Trying to cheer up and be happy again. Am not going to let something like this ruin my happiness. Life is short.